There's a study where strangers were paired up and walked through a sequence of increasingly personal questions.
It started with "Where are you from?" and ended with "When was the last time you cried in front of someone?"
The participants had to alternate answering them. Each person asked and answered in turns.
If one person ran through all of them alone first, the other basically checked out. And no connection was formed.
But when they traded back and forth, the connection grew. Which makes sense, they were learning and sharing, together.
A large portion of participants stayed in touch long after the study ended. That wasn't part of the design. One couple got married. They hadn't known each other before.
Charles Duhigg writes about researcher Arthur Aron in his book Super Communicators.
I'm not suggesting we start asking everyone when they cried last. This could be both effective and awkward. But here's the part worth carrying into your next conversation.
We can modify almost any basic question to do more.
"Where are you from?" gets you a city.
"What do you love most about where you grew up?" gets you a person.
"What do you do for work?" stays on the surface.
"What's the most interesting part of your job?" gets you closer to how they feel about their work.
The modified questions take the same thirty seconds but tie in vulnerability, a very important piece to moving past surface level.
But if you just need to know what someone does for work, carry on.
Coyote Quest: test a modified question this week. I’d love to hear the results.
What we’re howling about this week: |
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Tuesday, July 7
Super Coyote Coffee at 8:30 AM - Mission Bay 🐾
Wednesday, July 8
Cheers Oceaneers! Graeme Rae, PhD, CEO of HyperKelp Inc. at 5:30 PM - Kearny Mesa
($) Building an Economy That Rewards Doing Good at 6:00 PM - North Park
Thursday, July 9
($) Data Science Alliance: Summer Showcase at 4:30 PM - Liberty Station
Friday, July 10
Founder Fridays at 7:30 AM - Solana Beach 🐾
The In-Betweeners - For People Going Through A Work/Life Transition at 9:00 AM - Solana Beach
Biotech Beach and Brews - at the beach! at 5:30 PM - Fiesta Island
Saturday, July 11
North County AI Coffee Chat at 8:30 AM - Oceanside
Sunday, July 12
Bottomless Business Brunch at 10:30 AM - Carlsbad
Ready for your cape, Coyote? |
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Victor, Michael, Lincoln, and Megan put on their capes last week. Welcome to the Super Coyote Den.
We're keeping this pack small on purpose. The people who fit here are curious, connected in some way, and genuinely interested in helping the people around them. Not because it's good for business. Just because that's who they are.
If that's you, apply to join the pack.
What we’re howling about next week: |
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Monday, July 13
San Diego County Startup Mixer at 5:30 PM - Bay Park
Tuesday, July 14
Hussein's North County SD Startup Mixer at 5:30 PM - Encinitas
Wednesday, July 15
($) AI Female Founders Panel - Scale Smarter, Not Harder at 5:30 PM - Torrey Pines
San Diego Cyber Group Meetup at 6:00 PM - Mission Valley
Thursday, July 16
Friday, July 17
SD Founders Surf at 6:30 AM - Cardiff
From the Wild 🎙🐺 |
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Kris and I took the mics to Super Bloom and recorded a conversation about San Diego, our tech scene, and where it's headed.
He’s the CEO of the TL Fund. A philanthropic investment fund in San Diego. It has the potential to seed the next generation of companies and keep the winnings here in SD.
🎧 Here’s the episode
Mark Your Calendars |
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Thursday, July 16
DEVxSD: Paper Club # 3 at 7:00 PM - Del Mar
Thursday, July 22 - Sunday, July 26
COMIC-CON 2026 - Downtown
Friday, July 24
Claude Cowork Workshop For Transitioning Veterans at 11:00 AM - San Diego
Last thing! If you’ve made a cool connect thought the coyote, will you let me know?
It would make me howl,
Jonah 🐺
the Howl Guy
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